Acknowleding fear, and moving on
There’s a lot of family changes happening in our extended family this year. I’m grateful that they are of a positive sort, but all the same they’re major changes. People are getting married, babies are arriving, and family members are scrambling around to make the necessary plans for the upcoming changes.
Being the responsible sort, who loves her family, this is resulting in my internalizing a lot of stress. In many ways our household functions as a sort of hub between siblings and parents….which means that we hear a lot about individuals’ opinions. They don’t often agree with each other or mesh with my view. The long and the short of the current situation is that I feel a lot of competing pressure to be helpful, supportive and available but I’m short on ways to actually help out. There are just certain things I cannot do for others.
I realized last night that I’ve been spending a lot of time grinding my mental gears on familial guilt-trips, assumed obligations, actual obligations, and worry over the needs of my own family. It’s wearing me out, and it’s wearing me down. My attitude is crappy and I don’t like rehashing my feelings of overwhelm and anxiety.
Previous experience has taught me that this sort of negative emotional loop happens when I feel emotional pressure, and the unvoiced fears associated with them, but never acknowledge what I’m afraid of. If I don’t acknowledge my fears – rational or not – I can’t deal with them or escape the negative, oppressive emotions that they cause.
Fortunately, there’s a simple fix: acknowledging my fears…rational or not…..big and small. I’ve thought them out. I’ve written them down. They look better on paper. I can deal with them one-at-a-time. I understand myself better, and I feel able to tackle each fear as an individual problem. I’ve dispensed with the guilt and overwhelm.
I feel better. Lighter. Able to cope. I can move on.
Fear can be caused by anything in life. Sometimes I feel fear about business changes or creative endeavors or new opportunities. Though the “fixes” for fears are not always easy, acknowledging the fear in the stark light of day will give you the power to overcome it.
If you, too, are feeling stressed out and overwhelmed, take some time to really figure out what’s underneath. Write it down, and make a plan. You’ll be more productive. You’ll be happier. You might even discover that fear is an opportunity for positive changes.
Great outlook. At the moment I feel inferior compared to competitors, and even when I try to rationalize, I find it difficult to see my value. Back to my list of achievements, they should show me how far I got!!
Definitely a good way to sort out what’s bothering you
I *know* what’s bothering me right now (just moved into my guy’s house and it’s a major mess) so my lists are more on how to deal with it and make the mess go away.
*hugs* I’d help you if I could