I’ve been working on a new pattern all week. I started it last weekend, and since then my work has resulted in:

• 3 complete restarts. Everything ripped followed by a new cast on.
• 4 partial rips: most of these rips removed 50% of the current progress. I could have had the whole thing done if only I’d avoided this.
• 1 new technique incorporated. Ironically, this has been the smoothest part of the whole design. Go figure.
• Lots of questioning of my previously very solidly held belief that this design was, indeed, very clever.

In the course of the entire week – we’re talking daily work in this rather diminutive garment – I’ve not even used up all the yarn freed from previous ripping sessions. I have mixed feelings about ripping out knitting. In days past, I would do anything to avoid ripping out my work. It was tragic. It was soul-wrenching. All that work disappearing into the ether…..never to been seen, used or loved.

In more recent days – or in the days since I’ve started designing I’ve embraced ripping out my work. When you’re publishing, things have to be as near to perfect as possible. Missed stitches, wrongly crossed cables, and questionable design decisions all have to come out.

While rambling down the road to knitterly perfection, I’ve learned that no matter how precious my knitting is to me, I feel better when I’ve recognized and fixed my errors. I like that my work is quality, and value that more than the mere production of knitted fabric. I feel that I’ve grown as a knitter. That by pushing myself to work outside my comfort zone I’ve improved my skills, patience, and the quality of my finished knitwear. I like that.

This week’s challenge has been the gussets on this sock. They just will.not.work. I’ve designed, redesigned and reredesigned. Colors have been changed, the stitch pattern has been rethought and reworked. Last night I came to a conclusion. It may have been inevitable. It may have been fate.

These socks aren’t going to have gussets.

So despite my very firmly held belief that all socks should have gussets, I’m giving in to the impulse of the design and leaving them out. It’s the best thing for the pattern. It still fits the foot for which it was designed. Since I’ve stepped outside my comfort zone (I love gussets! They’re my favorite part of any sock pattern!) I’m going big and going to do an afterthought heel. Ooh, the drama of design!

So if you are fighting with your knitting, stop. Listen. Be un-afraid to quit fruitless attempts to mash a project into your ideal and find it’s hidden potential….even if that means doing something new.

There’s a lot of family changes happening in our extended family this year. I’m grateful that they are of a positive sort, but all the same they’re major changes. People are getting married, babies are arriving, and family members are scrambling around to make the necessary plans for the upcoming changes.

Being the responsible sort, who loves her family, this is resulting in my internalizing a lot of stress. In many ways our household functions as a sort of hub between siblings and parents….which means that we hear a lot about individuals’ opinions. They don’t often agree with each other or mesh with my view. The long and the short of the current situation is that I feel a lot of competing pressure to be helpful, supportive and available but I’m short on ways to actually help out. There are just certain things I cannot do for others.

I realized last night that I’ve been spending a lot of time grinding my mental gears on familial guilt-trips, assumed obligations, actual obligations, and worry over the needs of my own family. It’s wearing me out, and it’s wearing me down. My attitude is crappy and I don’t like rehashing my feelings of overwhelm and anxiety.

Previous experience has taught me that this sort of negative emotional loop happens when I feel emotional pressure, and the unvoiced fears associated with them, but never acknowledge what I’m afraid of. If I don’t acknowledge my fears – rational or not – I can’t deal with them or escape the negative, oppressive emotions that they cause.

Fortunately, there’s a simple fix: acknowledging my fears…rational or not…..big and small. I’ve thought them out. I’ve written them down. They look better on paper. I can deal with them one-at-a-time. I understand myself better, and I feel able to tackle each fear as an individual problem. I’ve dispensed with the guilt and overwhelm.

I feel better. Lighter. Able to cope. I can move on.

Fear can be caused by anything in life. Sometimes I feel fear about business changes or creative endeavors or new opportunities. Though the “fixes” for fears are not always easy, acknowledging the fear in the stark light of day will give you the power to overcome it.

If you, too, are feeling stressed out and overwhelmed, take some time to really figure out what’s underneath. Write it down, and make a plan. You’ll be more productive. You’ll be happier. You might even discover that fear is an opportunity for positive changes.

Do you ever find yourself wondering why you don’t fit into a radically different category than the one you usually occupy? For instance, if you were a petite but mightily curvy woman born & raised in the Midwest you might find yourself wondering (many times, on multiple occasions, over a fairly decent spread of time) why you weren’t Japanese.

No, I’m not crazy. And I furthermore blame the Japanese people for my self-perception issues. Why? Because of things like this:

And this dress:

(This dress is from a Japanese sewing book called the Stylish Dress book, more about that here. For sale here.)

And if that weren’t enough, the things they do with knit & crochet blow me away. If only I had a few dozen more hours per day to spend sewing, knitting and crafting crazy-cool Japanese crafts!

Now you know….the secret & somewhat silly thoughts of a midwestern girl. I even have a pinboard devoted to “Japanese Inspiration” over on Pinterest. I’m YarnLove over there, in case you’re in the mood to oggle my pins.

You know, working out of your home – even when you have dedicated studio space – while balancing the needs of your family is a challenge. Many indie artists face this challenge everyday. For me some days are quite hard – the business must wait because my children need me. This can cause me stress and frustration as my deadlines and daily strategies are altered or disappear all together. Other days we all work in harmony and I make great yarny accomplishments! They are satisfied with their work and play, and I accomplish what must be done and more. As an indie artisan, I feel the tug of many tasks that need my attention. I make lots of lists in order to a.) remember everything and b.) prioritize my tasks c.) ensure both the household and the business is running smoothly.

To me, this is the heart of being an indie artisan. Bringing my career, and money making pursuits, into harmony with my life and my family. I feel this indie life is a great blessing to myself and to my family even while it is one of the most challenging pursuits of my life to date.

Case in point: I am currently working on a tight deadline for publishing two patterns. Contracts have been signed, and my professional image as a designer is riding on me getting my patterns and samples in on time. Due to the crazy forces of mid-winter holiday madness, I had 5 pattern deadlines changed by the publishers during the month of December. Even though I have been working days, nights and weekends on these two particular patterns, I had to write for an extension.

I felt terrible. I felt unprofessional. Luckily, the project is not as time-sensitive as most & the publisher granted me a bit of extra time to get everything in order. It was a huge weight off my shoulders, but I’m still working like mad.

Yesterday, I looked downstairs as I was cleaning up from breakfast to see my youngest son (16 months) playing with my yarn cakes for this pattern sample. We’re talking custom spun yarn that I’ve hand-dyed and hand-wound and are integral to this project which I’ve been trying not to stress over.

And I smiled. Because my yarn was ok. My pattern and sample are progressing daily. And my baby found joy in something I created.This is why I am indie.

My boy.

And his yarn.

It’s the heart of gloomy winter. Everything is barren and brown. I miss the brilliant hues of spring and summer (This is probably not surprising after last month where I dyed colors after flowers, huh?) So I’ve dyed up some highly saturated colors, but this time from the cool side of the palette. Show off your sophisticated, inner Ice Princess with these regal colors.

This month’s yarn is very similar to December’s yarn base (Charlotte Bronte Fingering) with one difference – this month’s yarn is superwash treated. So if you loved the thinner sock weight, with that distinctive, two-ply nubbly texture but need machine washability, this is your month!

Each skein is 4 oz, 560 yards, 100% superwash merino. Need an extra skein or three? No problem – they’re $21 each plus shipping.

If you’re new to the club, remember to follow the link you received in your club email to submit your color choice & order additional skeins!

Green with Envy

A monochromatic progression in green! Spring green, kelly green, emerald and deep blue green march along the length of this skein. Green has been quite popular with club members in the past, and this one is sure to please all the green-lovers! Pair this skein with navy, grey, or black for a classy color accent to your winter wardrobe or welcome spring with brilliantly green socks! (St. Patty’s day is coming!)

Ice Princess

This skein is mostly blue, but with a pop of purple and mustard to brighten it up. Dull mustard, teal, sky blue, brilliant blue, and a blueberry dance across this skein. If you like jewel tones, you’ll love this skein. It’s regal enough to satisfy the pickiest princess!

I had such a lovely time dyeing up this month’s colors. I chose two photos of beautiful flowers as my starting point, and began dyeing. Right now Iowa is cold and barren with the first embrace of winter. We’ve already had two light snowfalls, which are likely to be the first of many. The prairie is lonely, except for the howling of the wind and the bright flash of snowflakes on cold days. All our flowers are sleeping, waiting for the return of the sun….so I thought, why not dye up some “flowers” that will last all winter? Their petals will not fade, and their bright colors will cheer the long winter to come.

I also chose a yarn that embodies the essence of winter: it’s a simple yarn, plied from 100% organic superwash merino wool. It’s fuzzy, and soft and warm: Charlotte Fingering. There’s nothing fancy about her, but she’s as reliable as a crackling fire on a blustery night. I chose this yarn because I’m actually working a skein into a sample pair of socks for a brand new pattern to be published later this month. I’ve been enjoying it so much, I thought you all should, too. Charlotte is charming in her simplicity; the little extra care required to handwash the socks you knit from her will be repaid 10 times over each time you slip into them.

Charlotte Bronte Fingering: 100% superwash merino wool, 560 yards per 4 oz skein. $23 per extra skein.

Poppies in Winter:

Honeyed Lily:

Meet Ruth from Rock + Purl. This is Ruth here, isn’t she lovely?

She’s awesome, and so are her designs. I got to know Ruth via Twitter and Ravelry. I immediately loved her design aesthetic and her quirky personality. She’s full of good information; I’ve heard her discuss everything from the proper way to cook a paella to how short rows make a sweater awesome. If you follow me at all, you know I love all things food and knitting related. You can easily see how Ruth quickly made her way into my heart.

For November’s sock club colors, Ruth provided me with a photograph as a starting point for a brand new colorway:

Then I translated it into yarn form:

Since I try not to double up on colors for the sock club members (just in case they don’t like a particular hue) I created a second color choice that follows the same theme, in a different palette.  Just Before Dawn follows the sunrise/sunset theme, and mimics the way the sky looks out my window at dawn:

Now a little more about Ruth. She has many beautiful designs. In particular, I fell in love with her She Wore Blue Socks, and knew I just had to interview her for the blog. If you’re a member of the Sock Club, you’ll be receiving a free copy as your November goody!

If you’re not a sock club member, no problem. Ruth has generously provided a copy of the pattern to one lucky blog reader. Simply comment below to enter!

My questions are bolded, and Ruth’s answers follow. Without further ado, here’s more about Ruth and how she designs!

K: Where in the world are you located?

R: I was originally born in Spain but have spent my adult life in the UK – I live in West Sussex, a mostly country-side county in the South of England.

K: How long have you been designing, and what inspired you to start?

R: From the start, I added my tweaks and preferences to other people’s designs (I was one of those knitters who know how to manipulate measurements to make things fit me), and with a father in fashion, it’s always been in the back of my mind. When I found myself out of a full time job and wanting to take more control over my life, I chose to start small (all my first designs are accessories) while I “honed” my skills at grading/pattern writing!

K: What inspired you to design She Wore Blue?

R: I was playing with yarn – initially it was only lace, and browsing through stitch dictionaries, I found a way to include the cable in my lace!

K: What is your favorite color?

R: Oh, that’s too difficult to say!! I love anything bright – I don’t like dull colors or colors that don’t inspire a smile!! I guess if I had to choose it’d be red or yellow.

K: What’s your favorite knitting technique?

R: Cabling without a cable needle. Many of my designs feature cables, and it’s the fastest trick in the book!!

K: How can we keep up with you & your designs?

R: I love hearing from people on twitter (@rockandpurl) but I recently opened my Facebook page (http://on.fb.me/rockpurl) and can’t wait to see more knitters joining!

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A huge thank-you to Ruth for teaming up with me on this month’s yarn, taking the time to participate in the interview, and providing a great pattern giveaway. If you haven’t yet, comment below for your chance to win!

It’s November! I’m quite excited as November is my birthday month & no matter how old I get, I always love having my birthday. After the flub-up with October’s yarn delay, I’ve chosen a staple sock yarn. I have it in the studio right now, so I am positive that I can ship it out in a timely manner. Scarlett O’Hara is one of my favorite sock yarns to work with. She’s just a little shiny, a little cushy and lasts forever. Scarlett has been a part of Yarn Love from the beginning, but she’s really hard to beat in terms of knitting into a brilliant fabric that lasts through a lot of wear. My girls even have a sweater knit from her (held doubled) that has been in their wardrobe for 3 years, and shows almost no wear….despite being flung into the washing machine weekly during the fall and winter.

Scarlett O’Hara

410 yards / 375 meters  per 4 oz / 115 g skein. 60% superwash merino, 30% bamboo rayon, 10% nylon. Fingering weight. $21 per additional skein.

November’s colors are special! They are the collaborative effort of myself and Ruth of Rock + Purl. I’ve come to be friends with Ruth via Ravelry & Twitter & love her designs. She sent me this Shutterstock photo to start things off:

and here are the colors inspired by it!

Sunset

Brilliant blue, steel blue, sunny yellow, marigold, and black cocoa. Hand painted variegated. Blue and black are the dominant colors.

Just Before Dawn

Rosy pink, mauve, lavender, duskybrown, royal purple. Semi-solid. The colors are swirled into the dyepot and allowed to meander and set randomly.

Later this week, I’ll be doing a blog post featuring Ruth in detail, so be sure to come back to find out lots more about this fascinating designer! Plus, there will be a special “birthday present” this month, too!

A long time ago, two knitters imagined something amazing. It was so wonderful it haunted their dreams….eventually the dream was whispered via Twitter and spread like wildfire over the internet. This dream was a dream of the most decadent, delicious, perfect cake ever – the marriage of red velvet and cheesecake. After many sleepless nights, and much sugar-coated toil that dream is now a reality.

Behold the triumph of the Red Velvet Cheesecake!

Ok, so in reality, last week Ruth of Rock and Purl and Marly_Bird started tweeting about how amazing a Red Velvet Cheesecake would be, and wondered if it could be done. I wondered, too. Since I have not slept through the night in more than a year (my 1 year old still doesn’t sleep well) I have ample time each night to sit quietly, rocking the baby and dreaming up the perfect cake.

The Requirements

To start with, the requirements were cheesecake, red velvet cake, and traditional whipped red velvet frosting.Further complicating things is that my husband is wheat intolerant – the cake had to be entirely or very close to wheat free. If you have done any gluten free baking, you know that it’s nearly impossible to get a layer cake to hold together – they usually crumble like a high rise in an earthquake.

Twitter speculation was rampant about the layering: Cake + Cheesecake + Cake + Frosting? Cheesecake + Cake + Frosting? In the end, I went with Crust + Cheesecake + Frosting + Red Velvet Cake +Frosting. I figured that trying to turn out a cheesecake and layer it between Red Velvet was asking for trouble. If a cheesecake is cohesive enough to turn out on it’s own, without any crust, you might as well slap a slab of cream cheese in the middle of Red Velvet cake and save yourself some trouble.

But that wouldn’t do. It had to be cheesecake. And it was! Here’s how I did it.

Start out by making sure you have a round cake pan and a springform pan that are the same size. Mine are 9″ pans, and I dropped the bottom of my springform pan into my cake pan to check – it just fit.

The Recipe Line Up

Let me warn you now, if you like uncomplicated recipes, don’t bake this baby. To complete, it requires mixing and baking four separate recipes. It also is time consuming, so don’t try this if you remembered at the last moment that you’re due at a potluck in an hour. The cheesecake alone requires about 8 hours to fully chill. But I can attest that the results is worth it!

Three out of four recipes below were from my treasure chest of favorite recipes. I’ve made them multiple times before, and knew what to expect of the recipe. If you are free to eat gluten / wheat, I suggest you use your own favorite recipes in place of the red velvet and crust layers. The frosting and the cheesecake started life as “normal” baking recipes and can be used as-is without the need for a full complement of gluten free flours.

The recipes are listed in the order for assembly: crust, cheesecake, red velvet and frosting. The cheesecake needs 8 hours (give or take) to fully chill, once it’s cooled from the oven. You can easily make the red velvet layer and frosting the next day.

The Crust – Gluten Free Shortbread

This makes wonderful shortbread cookies. They’re amazing with coffee. It’s also sheer bliss and a perfect foundation for this cake.

1/2 C Almond Flour*

1/2 C Rice Flour

1/2 C Corn Starch

1/2 C Butter – softened

1/2 Cup of butter

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F.

Sift dry ingredients together. Add butter mix on low until the dough comes together and is well incorporated.   if the dough seems too soft, pop it into the fridge for a few minutes until it begins  to firm.

Grease and flour the bottom & sides of the springform pan. Press shortbread dough evenly into the bottom – about a 1/4″ thick. I had leftover dough, and you may, too. Wrap in plastic wrap and pop into the fridge for later.

Bake 20 minutes or until the crust looks golden brown. Remove and let pan cool while you work on the cheesecake filling.

* You can make your own almond flour by blending unsalted, blanched almonds in your blender, and sifting to remove the large chunks. I have even omitted the blanching step as I’ve found the skins add a little color and don’t disrupt the texture. I usually blend, sift, re-blend then measure.

Alternate: Graham Cracker Crust

This is the original crust for my cheesecake – it contains wheat. It’s easy, and you can use pre-baked shortbreads like Lorna Dune cookies in place of the graham crackers

6 Whole Graham crackers

1/4 C Melted butter

Finely grind graham crackers – I use my blender. Add butter and blend until combined. Press into the bottom of your spring form pan and bake at 350 F until golden brown – about 8-10 minutes.

Katie’s Go-To Never-Fail Best Cheesecake Ever

This is converted from a regular, gluten containing recipe. There’s hardly any difference. It always turns out and only once has this baby ever cracked. You’ll love it.

3 – 8 oz Packages cream cheese (use full fat) – room temp

1/2 C Granulated sugar

1 T All purpose flour*

2 Large eggs

6 T Sour Cream or Heavy Cream

1/2 C Half & Half

1 t. Vanilla

1.) Beat cream cheese and sugar together in a large bowl until smooth.

2.) Add eggs, one at a time until just combined.

3.) Mix in remaining ingredients.

4.) Pour filling on top of crust in prepared pan.

5.) Bake at 350 degrees F for 10 minutes. Reduce heat to 250 and bake for about 40 minutes longer.

6.) Crack the oven door and cool the cake in the oven for at least 10 minutes. Take out of oven and allow to cool to room temp.

7.) Run a sharp knife around the outside of the pan to loosen. Chill 8 hours or until cake is chilled through and firmly set.

8.) Keep the cheesecake in the refrigerator as much as possible. This will help you assemble the layers.

Red Velvet Cake – Gluten Free

This recipe has a lot going for it – it’s pretty tasty and holds together like a champ. I had no trouble creating a cohesive layer cake. Due to the delicate taste of red velvet cake, gluten free versions always taste just a bit different. There’s just no getting around the fact that non-wheat flours don’t taste exactly like wheat. However this version is extremely tasty, has a moist crumb and won’t go to bits at a crucial moment.

If you can eat wheat, use your favorite red velvet recipe. I halved my gluten free version and it was the perfect amount.

3/4 C + 2 T Canola Oil

3/4 C Granulated Sugar

1 Egg, beaten & room temp

1/2 C Brown Rice Flour

1/4 C + 2 T. Sorghum Flour

1/4 C + 2 T. Tapioca Starch

1/2 C Buttermilk (or 1/2 C 1/2 & 1/2 + 1/2 T. vinegar)

1 tsp. Vanilla
1/2 oz. red food coloring (this is half of a McCormick’s bottles)
1 Tbsp. cocoa

1.) Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F (noticing a theme here? All three layers cook at the same temp!)

2.) Prepare your pan by greasing and flouring.

3.) Cream the oil and sugar until well mixed. Add the egg and beat until well incorporated. (You’ll notice that this thickens and creates the emulsion that will hold the cake together.)

4.) Whisk all dry ingredients together in a separate bowl.

5.) You will now incorporate the dry and wet ingredients into the batter, in four parts, starting with the flour. (Do NOT start with the wet ingredients or you will break the emulsion.) Mix each part completely before adding the next.

6.) Make a paste of the vanilla, cocoa powder and food coloring. Mix thoroughly into the batter.

7.) Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean.

8.) Completely cook cake on a wire rack. Run a knife around the outer edge to loosen. Turn cake out. If holding overnight, wrap tightly in plastic wrap and leave out on counter until needed.

Tasty & Traditional (but not gluten free) Whipped Red Velvet Frosting

1 C Mil

5 T Flour

1 C Granulated Sugar

1 C Butter

1 t. Vanilla

1.) Whisk together milk and flour in a small saucepan.

2.) Heat over medium-low heat until thickened, whisking constantly.

3.) Cool completely. I cooled on a wire rack until just warmed and then popped the whole saucepan into the fridge until chilled. I also obsessively whisked the mixture every 10 minutes, to make sure it didn’t clump while cooling but this may be unnecessary.

4.) With a mixer cream butter and sugar.

5.) Add cooled milk mixture and cream until fluffy and well incorporated. If your frosting separates or looks grainy, continue mixing. This frosting should have the look and texture of whipped cream.

Gluten Free Alternative Frosting

You have a few choices here on how you want to handle a wheat/gluten free frosting.

1.) Mix up a batch of real whipped cream. Assemble the layers sans frosting, and coat each serving separately. It will taste amazing, but the presentation won’t look as good. Do not frost until you’re ready to serve or the whipped cream will melt into the cake.

2.) Use trusty old vanilla buttercream with a touch more milk so it’s a bit thinner. Buttercream is tasty, sturdy and versatile. It will hold your layers together without fuss, and you can frost your cake ahead of time.

3.) Make a cream cheese frosting. I think this is a bit redundant given that this is a cheesecake. But, keep your flavor additions to vanilla and you’ll get a frosting that’s sure to blend harmoniously with the flavors already in your cake.

4.) Be really adventurous and attempt a traditional red velvet frosting using potato or cornstarch in place of the flour for the rue. I have not tried this. It could be incredible….or an incredible flop. If you try it, let me know how it turns out!

Assembling the Triumphant Cake

I assume that you have all the parts necessary for this endeavor baked according to the above instructions. You should have 1 baked and completely chilled/set cheesecake, one completely cooled red velvet cake layer, and one batch of your preferred frosting. At this point I’d also grab a rubber scraper and a handy offset spatula for frosting.

1.) Release your cheesecake. Pop off the sides of the spring form pan. I always leave the bottom of my pan for serving.

2.) Plop a blob of frosting on top of the cheesecake -enough for a scant layer. Attempt to level as best you can in case your oven sits crookedly, like mine does. This will be weird as the frosting attempts to iceskate on the slippery surface of the cheesecake. Persevere and keep the frosting minimal.

3.) Unwrap your red velvet layer if necessary. Eyeball this layer and determine the most advantageous positioning for a level cake (just in case you have an un-level oven like mine.) If you have a level oven, revel in it’s glory and move on to the next step.

Look – I got it about spot on & level without trimming the cake:

Yum! See how there’s just a scant amount of frosting? Too much causes the top layer to slide across the slick surface of the cheesecake. Keep it minimal here, and pile the frosting on top.

4.) Carefully plop that red velvet layer on top of the cheesecake, bottom side down.

5.) Generously frost to the top of the cake. I didn’t frost the sides of mine as the frosting would never stick to the cheesecake layer. Plus, it looks really impressive to see that delightfully red velvet crowning the top of your cheesecake.

6.) Return your cake to the fridge to firm everything up. Eat the remaining frosting (I know you’ve been sampling it already!). Get out your rolling pin to beat your family off the cake until you’re ready to serve it. This madness ensued seconds after I finished snapping the pictures.

My job here is done!

Are you reading for a vibrant spot of color? October is here, bringing with it cooler breezes and fall foliage. The intensity of this new season is reflected in both color choices for this month. The vibrant reds of Mulled Wine are juxtaposed against the cool, neutral tones of Feathered Nest. Both are sure to please!

This month’s base yarn is a heavy fingering weight cashmerino blend. It’s soft as a cloud and supple as silk, with a warmth that will keep you toasty during the coming winter. 80% superwash merino / 10% mongolian cashmere / 10% nylon; 375 yards per 4 oz skein. The nylon content helps improve durability and balance out the delicacy of the cashmere. $26.50  per additional skein.

Mulled Wine – semi solid

We start out with the boldly saturated hues of Mulled Wine. Deepest crimson swirls around vermillion and Bourdeaux; with tiny hints of current and raspberry.

Feathered Nest – variegated

Feathered Nest is a kettle dye variegation of steel grey, coffee brown, inky midnight, straw gold, teal and clear aqua.